Regardless of whether you love your family to death or just want them to stop calling you, I think we can all agree that some family portraits just aren’t meant to be made public. Thanks to the miracle of the internet, we’ve been able to capture some of these awkward wonders to share them with the people we love the most – our Archivists. For your viewing pleasure, our pick of the 10 most awkward family photos!
Family Furry Curiosity
Is this some sort of <bleep> joke? Seriously, am I being set up right now? This is… I don’t even know what to say. The family set up in a naked triangle was one thing. This batch of oddballs is wracking our brain on a whole new level. Trying to overlook the fact that they found or made these perverse full-body Christmas sweaters, one’s eyes can’t help but be drawn to what’s happening almost smack dab in the center of the photograph. Is she always this curious when father walks around the house in his fuzzy perve suit? Who took this photograph and did they have to shower several dozen times immediately afterward? Most importantly, though… where can we get one of those? They look mighty comfy.
A Family That’s Naked Together…
We don’t really want to finish that thought… in fact, we don’t even want to continue looking at this extremely uncomfortable scenario. We want to look away, but we can’t. We have so many questions, but first and foremost that we’d like answered is quite simply: “Why?!?” Is this a typical Sunday night for the Bare-ass family? Do friends come over for barbecues and have to just pretend all six members of this twisted Brady Bunch are completely naked? Why is everybody so happy?! Oh, please… please can we move on to the next awkward marvel before we start to see the beauty in a family that is comfortable enough to be in this situation?
Mild-Porn Family Photo?
We have to assume one of two scenarios is going on here. Either this poor child is related to people that think a speedo, bowtie, and a nightie are acceptable public attire at some fancy engagement or the aged pair in question had to cease the filming of their breakthrough porno to take an extremely awkward photograph with what we’re assuming to be their now-scarred grandchild. Well, whatever the occasion may have been that produced this uncomfortable snapshot, at least they decided to wear their absolute fanciest negligee rather than be completely naked.
In case you didn’t catch it – that’s foreshadowing for…
Of course, this gem was going to find its way onto an awkward family photo video. How could we leave off one of the internet’s finest memes and feel good about our picks? We can’t help but feel a little bad about how this incredibly awkward edit turned into a meme of patriarchal vengeance… but they kind of had it coming. Making this picture into even more of an icon are the awkward, forced smiles, especially on the eldest son. “Quick, put on a smile or Dad will whip you”, the mother’s tense face reads. If that father’s distant stare tells us anything, they’re going to be whipped no matter what they do.
Okay, okay, okay... we get it. You're in a tropical environment for Christmas and can walk around in minimal attire - but that doesn't mean everybody wants to see you in minimal attire. This Christmas card reject is a prime example of what people don't want to see, especially during a season that's already known to be stressful and depressing for some. Christmas Wolverine somehow talked his wife and sons into posing as Adams and Eve, topping the awkwardness off with large leaves, Christmas hats, and complete nudity, which some may deem socially inappropriate.
Judging by the sashes, this was probably a family portrait meant to be used as a Christmas card. Unfortunately, the vision of this grown man in a diaper is a holiday gift that you simply can't return. It's embedded in there forever. And it's a rare occasion for the infant of the family to be the one to display disbelief, its eyes screaming to be released from the prison of awkwardness that is this picture. Staring at it long enough does make you wonder… which of the adults in this situation thought this picture wasn't going to wind up being a therapist's dream in the future.
We can only imagine how much fun this overly-tanned, muscular father is to live with. Everything he does is an opportunity to flex his perfect muscles, his only attire a light-colored speedo to contrast the darkness of his body. You see the look on the son's face? That's pain. Pain that will haunt him until an uncontrollable outburst at work sends him to the company-provided therapist for a long session of "What my father did wrong…" At least his skin tone matches his wife and son's shirts. In fact, something tells us that was intentional and we're not sure how we feel about it.
He probably felt like the coolest dad in town, having just gotten the faces of his wife and daughters tattooed on his back. It was a painful process, but he only winced once around the shoulder blade. What was the first thing he knew he needed to do once the tattoo was done? That's right, become even more badass with an ear piercing. Then it was time to show off his new ink in a weird portrait that is only weird because he's topless, facing the opposite direction, and displaying a tattoo of the same three girls that we're looking at! At least they're all labeled so we know who is who. Let's just hope there aren't any more kids in their future.
The Great Stand-Off
What, exactly, was the direction given by the photographer of this weird snapshot? "Look wherever you want, so long as you don't look at me"? Assuming this is a mother, father, and their two children, why would the father not be looking into the mother's eyes rather than leave her staring off even beyond her beau. Is there a tension between the father and the son that's about to erupt right here in the middle of this awkward mess? Whatever it is, we're definitely glad we were able to experience it in its still form.
The Great White Hunter
Some family photos are awkward to look at. Some make us feel awkward while looking at them. Can you guess which this deep south production falls under? If you said both, you would definitely be correct. Going for that rugged look that says "I bagged my woman with a tranquilizer", the shirtless hunter is sure to show off the size of his bow as his seemingly pantless vixen clings to him, wearing little more than a hat and a camouflage jacket. All that's missing from this cringe-worthy portrait is a dead deer sprawled out on the floor in front of them.