For those nights you’re just dying to spend money, there’s Amazon. Sure, you can look for something practical, or you can blow your cash on products that nobody in their right mind would ever consider purchasing. Items like these ten incredibly weird gems that you would never guess are for real and can be found on everybody’s favorite online marketplace.
Badonkadonk Land Cruiser
One day you’re browsing Amazon looking for the perfect accompaniment to your dog’s new headband wig when you stumble across a real, working land cruiser tank. Suddenly, your dog is non-existent and you’re doing unspeakable things to raise the $20,000 needed to purchase the metallic vehicle. Alright, so maybe that isn’t going to be your reaction when your search somehow takes you to the JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser, mostly because the thought of purchasing a tank on Amazon is a little weird and partly because the thought that someone is trying to sell a tank on Amazon is, you know, also weird.
If you suffer from an aphid infestation, we can understand keeping an eye out for some lady bugs. So, finding a container filled with 1,500 live lady bugs on a shopping site like Amazon is probably not going to come across a little weird. The product itself isn’t really all that exciting unless you really, really like to collect ladybugs, but it’s another item we can’t help but read through some of the 520+ reviews to pick out some memorable gems. There also seems to be an issue with lady bugs dying in transit, leading us to wonder when PETA is going to step in and put an end to this weird product.
Fat Old Fred
What’s to be said about poor Fat Old Fred. Poor $385, saggy-chested, beer-bellied, wrinkly Fred. The near 20-pound or 9-kilogram half-a-man is listed as an educational item, but the few reviews indicate that we’re not the only one’s unsure of Fat Old Fred’s true purpose. Fat Old Fred looks more like an unfinished prop in a horror movie than a therapeutic study guide, but his purpose is pretty specific. This fat tub of love is used for CPR training on obese and elderly patients, but we’re all for Richard Brueckner’s idea to launch dear Fred out of a trebuchet.
Fox Mulder would be proud of you for shelling out almost $100 for this authentic UFO Detector, complete with a "magnetometer interfaced with microcontroller". For around-the-clock UFO detection, this device is said to distinguish the magnetic and electromagnetic disturbance from UFOs from the disturbances of everything else that produces magnetic and electromagnetic fields. If there’s anything better than the weirdness of the product itself, it’s the customer review section which feature many incredible reviews, even one from George Takei himself!
Official Banana Sticker Book
Are you such a banana fanatic that you collect the stickers from every bundle of bananas that you purchase? Well we think you’re serial killer material, but James F. Hatcher III, who we also think is serial killer material, thinks what you’re doing is completely normal! In 2014, Hatcher published The Official Banana Sticker Book. That’s right. The Official Banana Sticker Book. Now you finally have a place to keep up to 999 banana stickers - or so the author claims - in 1 tiny banana-themed book.
Ah, joke gifts. Everybody loves to receive a good old prank present, but this one may be one of the oddest for one simple reason: You’re paying $6.00 for a package of literally nothing. Not to be the party pooper, but you can make a box that says “Nothing” on it and it would have the same effect. Is it the witty text on the packaging? We get that it’s supposed to be a novelty, but it seems that, at some point, all novelties have a purpose, whether it’s ridiculous or not. This one, for the price of a value meal, just seems several steps below the “pet rock.”
Unusual Wall Decals
Vinyl wall decals are a great, semi-permanent means of sprucing up your living spaces. From movies to cartoon characters, there’s a wide variety of choices out there – including Wallmonkeys’ Smiling Asian Teenage Boy and Half-eaten Bologna Sandwich, Wallstickers4you’s creepy over-sexualized Nun, and Unicorn, and let’s not forget Sticker Express’ “Just Do It” Shia Labeouf motivational sticker. You could honor your favorite theatrical character but why do that when you can honor a bologna sandwich?
If you’re birthday shopping for somebody you don’t really like, we have the perfect gift for you! Owl pellets! No, don’t confuse this for owl food. This is treated owl feces, and for the price of $12.40 you can bestow this pile of fun on anyone of your choosing! Really meant as an educational tool for children in grades 3 to 5, the owl pellets give an insight into the food chain and where owls fit in Mother Nature’s overall plan. As a top rated, entertainingly, educational, YouTube channel, we can appreciate the educational aspect, but it’s not something you expect to find on Amazon and is even weirder than animal urine.
Sure, animal urine is a useful tool while hunting, but there are so many resources out there for hunters that finding it on Amazon while you’re shopping for animal urine remover is an odd change of pace. We’re not talking about those bottles of animal urine scent. These are bottles of 100% authentic urine for animals like red fox and coyote. Just make sure you don’t mix it up with your bottle of cologne else you’ll be in for a really weird night out.
Dog Headband Wigs
We know you’re not really supposed to take the "Mullet on the Go Dog Headband" seriously, because who would willingly want to give their tiny pooch a mullet? Eh, who are we kidding. A lot of people would, right? Whether for Halloween or for that random Tuesday when you feel like making your dog suffer, there’s no better humane way to do so than with an antiquated headband with a horrible hairstyle attached to it.