We’ve all heard someone, somewhere complain about how dumb a sport can be. Blame it on the rules, the commissioners, the owners, the players, or--in this case--blame it on the sports themselves. In our latest list, we count down the Top 10 Dumbest Sports in existence.
Known as the English martial art–note the singular–the object here is to kick away at your opponent’s shins until either he or you falls. We can’t really consider this as a counterpart to jiu-jitsu or karate, but it’s a proud tradition in rural England. It should be much of a surprise from England, though, given that it’s from the land that brought us Russell Brand.
Are you serious? Race walking? The only goal in this sport is to walk fast. Somehow this is a thing. Lest you think this is a gag, note that the International Association of Athletics Federations World Indoor Championships is the sport’s ruling body. Even better, this sport is also in the Olympics.
Also known as “suicide ski biking,” this sport involves blazing down a slope on a ski/bike hybrid called, simply enough, a skibob. Skibobbing in itself wouldn’t be so bad if not for the absence of any form of braking. The sport flourished in the 1960s until liability concerns encouraged countless bans. Interesting fact, the sport’s creator was a mortician. Seems like there should be a conflict of interest somewhere.
The object of curling is to slide a stone across an icy surface in order to hit a target. It’s the kind of game that bored kids in a Norwegian village would play while waiting for a school bus… in fact, that might be how it developed. What strikes us as most silly about curling is that it’s treated a legitimate sport, with its own leagues and even a spot in the Olympics. So, sliding a stone across a surface is an equal sport to soccer, wrestling, or gymnastics?
We see two merits in the sport: first, the punches make chess watchable; and second, we know the minutiae of chess means Floyd Mayweather won’t compete. Contenders alternate between six rounds of chess and five rounds of boxing. Whoever has more points wins. This started as a Dutch performance art, but a few people took it very seriously–seriously enough to form an international “chessboxing” association with multiple weight classes.
If it has legs, it can race–that’s the mantra behind this odd sport. Located on the Caribbean island of Tobago, crab racing is something of a proud tradition. Each competitor lines up a crab in a circular course, prodding it to a finish. After the event, the audience celebrates by feasting on the delicious contenders.
This sport involves going to the wildest, most desolate locations on Earth in order to…iron. That’s it. That’s the sport: Go to an extreme spot, and iron. We’re trying to process how this sport, developed in the 1980s, could ever exist; but exist it does and its appeal is global, so global in fact that it spawned an international championship in 2002. What does that say about our civilization?
Running around atop an elephant is cool. Using an elephant to knock around a polo ball isn’t. Polo is already a sport of dubious value, but adding the world’s largest land mammal to it is like stuffing a V-8 into a Yugo.. meaning, you can make something more interesting, but that still doesn’t make it any less stupid.
Thank the Brits for this one. Here you have a group of men shoving ferrets down their pants in a competition to see who can endure the pain the longest. The origin of this sport is murky, but tradition holds that English miners developed it in the 1970s. The sport has since spread to both sides of the Atlantic, with events held in Canada and the U.S. What might be the most shocking thing about ferret-legging is the current record is five hours. Yes, five hours.
Freestyle walking, or “soaping,” is essentially skateboarding without.. the board? The objective is the same as freestyle boarding: grind and slide on any surface you can find, the riskier the surface and greater the grind, the better the score–or something along those lines. According to Vice, the sport started out as a teen gag in the 1990s, but somehow metastasized into an alternative sport. The only recommended piece of equipment: Soap Shoes – footwear with metal plates.We don’t know about you, but we think this screams commercial gimmick.