Top 10 FUNNIEST Lawsuits EVER
Ever have the urge to just sue someone, regardless of how idiotic the reason may be? That must have been the case for these 10 individuals, who happened to make our list of the Top Most Ridiculous Lawsuits Ever Conceived.
The Suit Against God
There have been two recorded lawsuits against God. One was to make a statement as to the accessibility of the public court system and the other, well, the other was to actually sue God. In 2007, Romanian convict, Pavel Mircea, was in the midst of serving a 20-year murder sentence when he decided to turn to God, not for redemption, but for justice. Mircea proceeded to sue the Orthodox church as the representatives of God. According to the lawsuit, God had committed fraud, abuse of position of authority and misappropriation of goods for not adhering to the “contract” the two had entered during his baptism. God didn’t protect him from the Devil, which was the reason he killed. In the end, the public prosecutor’s office in Timisoara turned down the case, arguing that God is not a person in the eyes of the law and does not have a legal residence.
The Obese Cesar Barber
In 2002, a man from New York found himself to be a bit more portly than he remembers, weighing in at 270 lbs or 122 kilograms. Thinking it couldn’t be his fault he’d packed on the extra weight, Cesar Barber took the fight to four rather large fastfood chains – McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s, and KFC. Barber claimed the chains jeopardized his health, caused his weight gain and filed a class action suit. Barber had been heard saying that the chains didn’t explain to him what he was eating and, as a result of this negligence, he suffered two hart attacks and developed diabetes. Barber’s case was eventually dismissed in 2003, but other cases of the same issue popped up, such as a suit against McDonalds from Ashley Pelman.
Robert Lee Brock vs. Himself
Have you ever been so mad at something you’ve done that you just couldn’t think of a good way to punish yourself? Robert Lee Brock was in such a situation after being arrested for breaking and entering and grand larceny. Sometime after his sentence was passed, Brock realized that in indulging in some alcoholic beverages, he caused himself to violate his religious beliefs. In order to make himself pay, Brock tried to sue himself for $5 million, but as he made no income in prison, asked the state to pay him for it. Maybe he was trying to confuse the state into paying him $5 milliion, but chances are he was just a little off his rocker. As one would hope, the lawsuit never came to be.
Budweiser False Advertising
Don’t you hate it when products aren’t as good as their advertising, like when your Budweiser doesn’t produce the tropical paradises that its marketing promises? Richard Overton certainly wasn’t happy to find that, after taking a sip of his beer, that he wasn’t transported to this magical paradise of beautiful people. Overton attempted a $10,000 lawsuit, but the suit was dismissed. Almost 16 years later, Overton admitted that his stint was to make a point of Anheuser-Busch’s marketing, as he noticed his children being drawn to Bud Light’s canine mascot, Spuds MacKenzie. Since Overton was from Michigan, we’re not entirely sure we believe him.
Christopher Roller is God
One would think that God wouldn’t have to sue somebody to get them to stop mimicking his “godly powers,” but according to Christopher Roller, a $50 million lawsuit is what it takes. Roller filed the suit against famed magician, David Copperfield, claiming that the Vegas headliner stole and improperly used Roller’s “godly powers” without his permission. Roller’s website, My Truman Show, claims his belief in magic is not real and is played up for gags, though he did file a patent for “Godly Powers.” One thing we do know is that the 2005 lawsuit was real, and, didn’t really go anywhere. It probably didn’t help any after the court took a look at his website, and seen that the plantiff stated that he predicted there was going to be a movie made about his life, starring Tom Hanks, he was going to father 1,000,000 children and that Katie Couric and Celine Dion were going to bare them.
The Kidnapper’s Oral Contract
If you’re ever being chased by police, Jesse Dimmick has the perfect escape plan for you. Break into somebodies home and hold them hostage. According to Dimmick’s logic, this creates an oral contract that legally binds them to protect you from the law. In September of 2009, Dimmick broke into the Rowley household to hide from pursuing officers and the three engaged in eating and drinking until the kidnapper fell asleep. At that time, the duo fled and alerted police. During his arrest, an officer’s rifle accidentally discharged and hit Dimmick in the back – an accident that Dimmick blames the Rowley’s for after reneging on their oral agreement. Jesse tried to sue for $235,000, but, the suit was quickly thrown out.
Richard Batista’s Kidney
When you go under the knife to give your organ to someone, do you think, at some point, you may ask for money? Richard Batista was not shy to try and get some compensation for his donated kidney, which he had given to his then-wife. After the two fell out and divorce proceedings began, Batista valued his kidney at $1.5 million and tried to get his wife to pay him for it. Though Batista felt justified, New York State law states it illegal to receive any monetary compensation for an organ and immediately squashed his claim. Batista’s wife was able to keep the kidney and didn’t have to pay a cent for it.
The Mooning of Jason Wilkins
Let’s just say that when you do something idiotic, your first instinct shouldn’t be to blame somebody else for the disastrous results. In the case of Jason Wilkins, he clearly wasn’t ready to take any responsibility for his fall from his 3rd-floor dorm at the University of Idaho. On the night of January 22, 1994, Jason climbed onto his heater and mooned fellow students. With his glutes pressed against the windowpane, the glass gave way and Wilkins plummeted to the ground below. He suffered a broken vertebra, compression fractures, and needed several stitches. Of the $940,000 that Wilkins tried to squeeze out of the university, he received nothing. The judge refused to let the case go to court.
Michael Jordan’s Doppelganger
It’s not always easy to look like a celebrity, but apparently things were pretty bad for Allen Ray Heckard who was believed to look identical of basketball legend Michael Jordan, even though Allen was 6 inches shorter, 30 pounds lighter, and 8 years older. According to Heckard’s claim, his life was a living hell due to Jordan’s fame and he grew tired of being mistaken for him. Heckard sought to sue Jordan and Nike founder Phil Knight for $416 million each. There were a few identical traits, though, both of them were african-american, both had shaved heads, one earing, and apparently neither were good at baseball. Eventually, Heckard dropped the complaint, though the coverage of it was likely to garner him even more attention.
Israeli Weather Lawsuit
Likely at one time or another, at one point in time we’ve cursed the weatherman for an incorrect forecast. Truth be told, we also know weather is an unpredictable force and to take every forecast with a grain of salt. In 1996, one Israeli woman had enough with inaccurate forecasting when she dressed according to Danny Rup’s sunny prediction, only to be met with a miserable day of rain. Due to her mode of dress, the woman came down with the flu and put the blame on Rup and tried to sue him for $1,000. The case didn’t go to court because Rup settled, paying her the $1,000 and issuing her an apology. Now, don’t be getting any bright ideas.