Top 10 HILARIOUS PICTURES With SANTA
Ah, the "Picture with Santa." It's a timeless tradition that has bred quite the plethora of strange, unusual, and hilarious pictures. We've found that when you stick a child - and the occasional creative adult - on a big, bearded man's lap, just about anything can come of it. For this holiday season, that "anything" is this collection of the top 10 hilarious "Pictures with Santa!"
Burn Victim Clause
There are bad Santa Clause costumes and then there is this travesty, which mutates jolly 'ole Saint Nick into a horror fit for The Twilight Zone. Somehow, despite the general reaction of children to a normal looking St. Nick is to cry, this little lad was able to muster the strength to keep it cool in his photograph with a Santa straight out of the burn ward - even with what we believe to be his mother glancing over, expecting him to squirt out a few terror-driven tears. Any jumpier kid would have jammed that candy cane into Claus' aorta and saved his mother from having to kiss that monstrosity underneath the mistletoe.
A Child's True Feelings
Every ounce of our being is cautious that this is likely Photoshopped, but we're willing to look the other way for a little chuckle. Maybe it is real, though. Not everyone is big into the Christmas spirit, and Santa's smug face in the background may have been just enough to send this girl over the edge. Perhaps she wasn't too pleased with the choice of outfit or that she was forced to dress just like her slightly more chipper sister. Whatever events transpired to lead to this incredible scenario, we're definitely glad they did. Rock on, kid, and don't let the big red man bring you down.
'Ole Saint Nick Cage?
This one may be a personal preference, but the longer we look at this photo, the more we think that jolly 'ole Nicolas Cage is hiding behind the bushy eyebrows and fake beard. There's a quality to the face and eyes that just screams Ronny Cammareri, Ben Sanderson, Castor Troy, and Stanley Goodspeed. In fact, this "Picture with Santa" is just ripe with celebrity cameos, as leaning against 'Ole Saint Nick's lap is a really young Danny Bonaduce. Say what you want, but we refuse to believe any other scenario for this star-studded snapshot.
As they say "The show must go on!" - even if that show is a family portrait with Santa Claus and the main star is sporting evidence of either a really nasty eye infection or involvement in a bar fight. Judging by those gruff hands, they probably drunkenly found their way a little to close to another man's Mrs. Claus. This is one of those images that leaves us wondering if there maybe isn't a quality control on the Santas that are brought in for these gigs. Maybe the elder gent sporting a black eye and the faint scent of urine and whiskey isn't the best choice for children to cozy on up to. Then again, the concept made for a pretty decent movie.
Done With This Sh*t
Never has there been a Santa Claus more done with the holidays than the jolly man in this photo. As a child wails away on the floor in front of him, the seething rage in Claus' eyes is far too evident. Probably 1 of 100 kids that decided to spend the entire photo crying their eyes out, one can guess the restraint St. Nick had to show to not boot stomp the tiny child. We'd like to think, at the end of his shift, he returned to his hovel for a little eggnog, but something tells us his drink of choice that night was a bit stronger.
Santa Claus Phone Home
There's something incredibly off about this picture, but we can't quite put our finger on it. I may need to take a minute to phone home for some help in pointing out the irregularity. These are E.T. puns, people, because we're stuck here wondering why there's a Holly Jolly Extraterrestrial hanging about in this picture. He wasn't in The Night Before Christmas and we don't recall him popping up in any of Bing Crosby's Christmas jingles. So, why? What's more perplexing is that there are more than one "Pictures with Santa" that features everybody's favorite alien.
Everybody loves a good animal photo, but sometimes they're a little too amicable to be funny. The puss and pooch in this attempt at a nice family Christmas photo don't disappoint by bringing the sass. Despite the squabble taking place center stage, overshadowing Santa and the pair of ugly Christmas sweaters, everybody seems to do a pretty good job of keeping a straight face as the camera snaps. Even the woman who's struggling against the feisty cat knows that the picture must be perfect because her tightfisted boyfriend was unwilling to pay for multiple shots.
Uh, excuse us, St. Nick? The camera is over this way. Can you also maybe remove your hand from her knee and, yeah, we can totally tell you're smiling like a pervert under that mustache. Enjoying the view a little too much, this King of Christmas Town may be thinking of a little extra something to leave under the tree for his future Mrs. Claus. What winds up being the funniest part of this picture is that Santa's knee-ornament is likely unaware of Creepy Claus's wandering eyes and was really hoping to walk away with a respectable holiday photo.
Santa Knows The Feel
We have to assume portraying Santa Claus is not an easy job. Your biggest clientele doesn't have full control of their bladder and most of the children that you come into contact with wind up crying on your lap. So, we can definitely sympathize with this Crying Claus who, we like to think, tossed those two kids to the floor immediately after this photo and stormed out of the make-shift "Santa's Workshop," never to be seen again that holiday season. The following year, he emerged after converting to Judaism, tossed his Santa costume, and started moonlighting as the Mensch on a Bench. Or we could just be boring and say he probably is fake crying to fit the picture.
A Little Too Old
Of course, this is staged, but that doesn't make it any less funny. Had it just been a grown man sitting on Santa's lap, we likely would have glanced over this photo pretty quickly - but that outfit is far too golden to pass up. Then there's the saxophone, which is by far the most confusing aspect of this picture. We'd love to know the backstory. Was it a bet? A dare? Was there far too much spiked eggnog involved? What was Santa's reaction when this tall gentleman with the brass instrument came up to him and dropped trou? Oh, to be an elf on the shelf that day.